Embrace Your Individuality: How to Be Unique in a World of Conformity
As a brand protection attorney, Temi is often confronted with examples of people copying others or people being copied. In navigating those challenges, she has developed a particular approach to life that is centered on maintaining uniqueness as one develops. In today’s episode of Fortify and Flourish, Temi lays out what it takes to truly be unique.
⏰ Time Stamps
00:00 Introduction
02:51 Why We Settle for Conformity
03:45 Copying vs. Inspiration
04:35 Sameness is overrated
05:20 It starts with Radical Honesty
07:30 The Revolutionary Act of Being at Peace
08:50 Being Unique in Business
10:00 Resource on Being Unique - Sally Hogshead
Transcript
Hey, hey, hey, everybody. It's Temi
Speaker:Siyanbade, your favorite online
Speaker:attorney and friend at this
Speaker:point. And I am so glad to
Speaker:join you today with some additional
Speaker:thoughts about something that I just
Speaker:recently came across and some thoughts
Speaker:that have been going mulling, I've been
Speaker:mulling over in my mind. Who
Speaker:has a business and brand attorney?One of
Speaker:the things that I get to
Speaker:navigate for people is when folks copy
Speaker:them, you know?
Speaker:And it's so unfortunate. So recently I
Speaker:was online and I saw a YouTube
Speaker:video and I saw another, and as soon as I
Speaker:saw it, I was like, I have
Speaker:legitimately seen this exact same
Speaker:title with like subtitles and
Speaker:everything like this thing I've seen
Speaker:before. So I went back because I could
Speaker:remember where I was hunting. I was like
Speaker:and I it it doesn't feel.
Speaker:Like a coincidence, right?
Speaker:And it was just kind of like when I, when
Speaker:I see stuff like that, when I see people
Speaker:who are outwardly like hopping someone, I
Speaker:I kind of get it. But it breaks my heart
Speaker:because I'm like what you're trying to
Speaker:get, you're not going to get this way.
Speaker:And So what I want to talk and and this
Speaker:was essentially the inspiration for
Speaker:today's video but what I want to talk
Speaker:about is I want to talk about how to be
Speaker:unique, right. How
Speaker:to be unique. How to be different
Speaker:and. And you know, I start to do
Speaker:some research in terms of this because I
Speaker:like to research, I like to study and
Speaker:read and learn and things like that. And
Speaker:I found that people are asking this
Speaker:question. And I remember when I was
Speaker:younger, there's there was a theme song
Speaker:that went with Cheerios. I think it was
Speaker:like the one and all, one and only
Speaker:Cheerio. And I remember
Speaker:loving that because I loved the idea of
Speaker:it being unique, of being the one and
Speaker:only of its kind. And
Speaker:I think that. In today's
Speaker:society, there's this weird
Speaker:tension between and. It's probably always
Speaker:been the case, actually. I don't think
Speaker:it's in today's day and age. I don't
Speaker:think this is a new development, but I
Speaker:think there's always been this weird
Speaker:tension of how can I be like
Speaker:everyone, and how can I be different, how
Speaker:can I connect and how can I stand
Speaker:out? And a desire to do both Because you
Speaker:want, because we're built for community,
Speaker:but we're all made different, right?
Speaker:Even identical twins have different
Speaker:personalities. And so and
Speaker:there's this thing where there's a
Speaker:tension. So I find
Speaker:that because life is hard,
Speaker:right?We
Speaker:tend to lean towards the portion of
Speaker:being like everyone else, like that ends
Speaker:up being what we want. We end up wanting
Speaker:to have the car like the person down the
Speaker:street, have the marriage like the person
Speaker:down the street, have the experiences
Speaker:like the person down the street and the
Speaker:person down the street seems to have like
Speaker:this just better life. And we want to
Speaker:be like them, essentially.
Speaker:For the most part, if you think about it
Speaker:that way, like this desire to have what
Speaker:other folks has is a desire to be like
Speaker:other people. And and I think it we
Speaker:end up thinking that other people have
Speaker:this cheat code and we're just like, OK,
Speaker:life is so hard. I just want to figure
Speaker:out how to like get the cheat code. I
Speaker:just want to figure out how to navigate
Speaker:the challenges that I'm experiencing. And
Speaker:so in that pursuit of
Speaker:guidance, in that pursuit of peace and
Speaker:that pursuit of a solution,
Speaker:sometimes people. Lean towards let me
Speaker:copy someone. And
Speaker:here's my thought I.
Speaker:Copying someone is different from
Speaker:receiving inspiration from someone,
Speaker:and I would say that in real life, like
Speaker:practically, but also from a legal
Speaker:perspective. The
Speaker:law. Expects
Speaker:competition. Competition is healthy,
Speaker:right? In the sense that there's going to
Speaker:be people and things and products and
Speaker:services that are in the same space. And
Speaker:one might be different in this way, and
Speaker:one might be in this way, but they have a
Speaker:shared goal, a shared. There can be
Speaker:sharedness, right? That's
Speaker:expected because there's
Speaker:sameness, sharedness in our
Speaker:experiences. But you've got
Speaker:to be really careful about crossing the
Speaker:line from inspiration to actually
Speaker:copying. All
Speaker:right. And here's the, you know, I said
Speaker:here's the thing a second ago, but here's
Speaker:the other thing. Sameness is so
Speaker:overrated, like trying to be like
Speaker:everyone else. I think about the term
Speaker:People want to be extraordinary, but what
Speaker:does that mean? It means not being
Speaker:ordinary. It literally means being
Speaker:different. Right. And The funny
Speaker:thing is that when we all lean into the
Speaker:things that make us different.
Speaker:We become extraordinary, but we find a
Speaker:commonality in all of us having
Speaker:uniqueness. Right. So
Speaker:what I want to encourage people today is
Speaker:I want to encourage you to figure out how
Speaker:you can be unique and and what I want you
Speaker:to do in terms of looking at that like
Speaker:practical steps for for how to be unique
Speaker:is to be honest with yourself. You know
Speaker:we talked about radical responsibility
Speaker:before and I have video that's either
Speaker:coming up or has been posted with regards
Speaker:to that. But I think it also goes back to
Speaker:that as being radically honest about who
Speaker:you are, what your strengths aren't, what
Speaker:you like, what you dislike. And
Speaker:embracing it, we have such a resistance
Speaker:to. How we are
Speaker:right and and the resistance to how we
Speaker:are usually is based off of a judgment
Speaker:that we've placed on it, that this is
Speaker:good or that this is bad.
Speaker:We've usually said that, oh, to be
Speaker:outspoken. Maybe we say that that's good.
Speaker:And so if we are not outspoken, we now
Speaker:label ourselves as bad. When being
Speaker:outspoken is just being outspoken and
Speaker:this positives and negatives associated
Speaker:with both like every single trait that
Speaker:you want to add a judgment to actually
Speaker:has two sides to that coin. One of them
Speaker:my friends when I was teaching he told me
Speaker:he said that your weakness is often also
Speaker:the the other, the the other side of
Speaker:the coin to your strength. So the thing
Speaker:that makes you weak can also be the thing
Speaker:that makes you strong. And when he said
Speaker:that I was like this is so profound and
Speaker:it's so true but if you want to be unique
Speaker:you have to make peace with that. You
Speaker:can't put all these judgments about it.
Speaker:You have to look at it. Objective
Speaker:standpoint and force yourself to find the
Speaker:good and the bad in it. By forcing
Speaker:yourself to find the good and the bad in
Speaker:the traits that you embody, you now
Speaker:release yourself to have the peace, to be
Speaker:that in the world, right? You then say,
Speaker:you know I can show up in this way
Speaker:because I know that in and of itself it's
Speaker:not bad. It's the size that I choose to
Speaker:exercise in this thing. And yes, because
Speaker:I'm human, I might sometimes exude or I
Speaker:might showcase the negative portion of
Speaker:this, but that's just being human. We're
Speaker:not perfect. You know, but I
Speaker:can say that this thing that I've labeled
Speaker:as negative is actually also has a
Speaker:positive side And so I can show up in
Speaker:that that space more like that Just
Speaker:taking that step of embracing the things
Speaker:that you often judge about yourself and
Speaker:finding the benefits benefits for that is
Speaker:going to allow you to stand out. And when
Speaker:in in a form or in one way I
Speaker:would say that excuse me, in
Speaker:addition to that I would say by
Speaker:embracing, embracing the that aspect, the
Speaker:positives and the negatives. You
Speaker:are doing something that is almost a
Speaker:revolutionary act in
Speaker:society because most people don't make
Speaker:that peace with themselves. So when you
Speaker:show up and you're at peace with who you
Speaker:are for real, listen, That's the
Speaker:uniqueness that in and of itself
Speaker:is extraordinary. That is something to be
Speaker:celebrated, like finding peace
Speaker:in your imperfections, finding peace in
Speaker:your in in in in your strengths, finding
Speaker:peace in the in your unique composition,
Speaker:right. That again, is an act of.
Speaker:Is it a revolutionary revolutionary act?
Speaker:And doing that is a step towards
Speaker:experiencing and being unique.
Speaker:I had a friend in college who the
Speaker:way that she showed up was
Speaker:so authentic and so her
Speaker:all the time that she consistently
Speaker:gave all of the people around her
Speaker:the freedom to be
Speaker:right to show up in the world as
Speaker:themselves. And it was beautiful and it
Speaker:caused her to stand out and be unique in
Speaker:that regard. So we can do the same thing.
Speaker:Now those are just a few things that I
Speaker:would keep in mind when we're talking
Speaker:about. You know how to be unique. Those
Speaker:are some of those mindset things that can
Speaker:shift that for you so you can step out.
Speaker:And then when you do that in business,
Speaker:when you also lean into this,
Speaker:particularly if you're the leader in this
Speaker:business, right, If you're the owner,
Speaker:CEO, manager, someone in the leadership
Speaker:position of that form of a position. And
Speaker:even when you're not, by stepping in and
Speaker:leaning into the things that make you
Speaker:unique and saying, you know I'm going to
Speaker:own my strengths in this area and even my
Speaker:weaknesses, you can speak to those places
Speaker:and show up in those areas of strength
Speaker:more and and seek out help in those
Speaker:weakness, areas of weakness. And
Speaker:seeking out the help again, Foster's
Speaker:community? Super valuable. But
Speaker:positioning yourself also in those
Speaker:positions of strength. Highlight your
Speaker:uniqueness. Highlight the things that
Speaker:make you different. Because here's the
Speaker:thing, you are already unique.
Speaker:It's not about becoming something that
Speaker:you already are. It's about allowing the
Speaker:world to see that. Even this journey of
Speaker:me kind of sharing these thoughts that
Speaker:are behind the scenes, right? I've always
Speaker:been this, but now if you're listening to
Speaker:the channel, you've listened to the other
Speaker:things where I'm talking about the LLCS,
Speaker:I'm talking about the trademarks. You
Speaker:know that's that's law, that's fact. I
Speaker:have a unique way of presenting it, can't
Speaker:hide it because that's the way I'm going
Speaker:to show up, right. But then you're also
Speaker:now seeing a little side of me and it's
Speaker:not like I'm being anything different.
Speaker:I'm just letting you in, so let people
Speaker:into the unique side of you. As
Speaker:we wrap up, I wanted to leave you with a
Speaker:resource that I found to be really
Speaker:helpful from a business perspective. And
Speaker:you know, I love resources. I love books.
Speaker:You're going to be like she's always got
Speaker:a book for everything I do because I like
Speaker:to read. And this book is by a woman
Speaker:named Sally Hogs Head and she.
Speaker:Wrote the book. How to
Speaker:fascinate and her website, I think is I
Speaker:think our website is How to Fascinate
Speaker:Calm. And maybe the book is called
Speaker:Fascinate. That's what it is. And
Speaker:essentially she's talking about the
Speaker:unique ways that people perceive you and
Speaker:learning how to lean into that from a
Speaker:branding perspective or personal brand
Speaker:perspective. And really leaning
Speaker:into the way the world perceives you. Not
Speaker:necessarily how you see yourself. Because
Speaker:sometimes that can be a little skewed,
Speaker:but based off of how you show up the way
Speaker:the world defines it, the way the world
Speaker:might categorize it. One of the beautiful
Speaker:things about that thing and how you can
Speaker:use that to your benefit in terms of your
Speaker:personal branding and your business
Speaker:branding. So check out Sally Hogs
Speaker:Head How to Fascinate
Speaker:and her books and her videos on it. I
Speaker:think that when you kind of go down that
Speaker:rabbit hole of her resources, you'll find
Speaker:them to be extremely valuable and eye
Speaker:opening. If you're struggling with
Speaker:figuring out how you can show up and be
Speaker:different. And this is something in
Speaker:regards to getting your business, is in
Speaker:regards to your relationship, in regards
Speaker:to your professional development. If
Speaker:you're trying to work up the corporate
Speaker:ladder, listen, I've been in a
Speaker:corporation or I've been in businesses
Speaker:and been in spaces where you know, it's
Speaker:like how are you going to stand out? And
Speaker:the things that most people would put a
Speaker:judgement on and label as, oh this is
Speaker:negative or this is, you know, not
Speaker:substantial. Listen, I own, I own my
Speaker:stuff. I'm good at making things look
Speaker:good. I'm gonna own it, you know,
Speaker:And that's gonna cause me to stand out.
Speaker:I'm not gonna despise it. I'm not gonna
Speaker:minimize it. I'm gonna own it. And so
Speaker:I I digress. Those are some of the things
Speaker:that you can do to show up in a more
Speaker:unique manner. You let me
Speaker:know as we wrap this video up, this
Speaker:conversation of let's keep the
Speaker:conversation going in the comment
Speaker:section. Tell me what are the things that
Speaker:make you unique or your business unique
Speaker:and. What you're going to
Speaker:do to show that
Speaker:more and make peace with that more, let
Speaker:me know in the comments section. This has
Speaker:been a great conversation. I hope to hear
Speaker:from you soon. Again, If you want more
Speaker:resources about mindset and things like
Speaker:that, please subscribe to the channel. If
Speaker:you want more information from the legal
Speaker:side of things, subscribe to the channel.
Speaker:Listen, Subscribe to the channel.
Speaker:Subscribe to the channel. Like the
Speaker:the video, if this has been valuable to
Speaker:you and enjoy the rest of your day,
Speaker:I hope to talk to you a very very
Speaker:soon. Bye.
